Round-Up

So my blog has been neglected. It always gets shoved to the bottom of the priority-list. With FB and what-not, most people get sick of me yapping on there – let along here as well!

However, a few things of note in the last few months and a few plans to boot.

1. I have the all clear for my cancer. I have 6 monthly check-ups for 3 years until the official sign off. But there’s no sign of it returning at the moment. People who know me, know I like to post almost everything on FB – but I mostly kept this off there. Not really for public consumption (I know I’m posting it here, but this is just a passing comment).

2. We had around 5k’s worth of unexpected bills the first third of this year. Hopefully things will start to improve, but … man, I was hitting rock bottom. We now have to rebuild out savings from scratch – linked to that…

3. We’re saving furiously for our holiday to Florida in October. A well deserved break. We’re both emotionally, physically and financially drained. I can’t wait. We’re going with one of our best friends Lee (he’s John’s long term buddy, but I’ve stolen him as well) and my sister and her boyfriend (my sister is one of my best friends and her boyfriend is all kinds of lovely).

4. I’ve started another book called Emma – it’s going to be shelved for a while as I work on A Time of Faith and Lies, but it’s quite special and I’ve got some crazy ideas for it.

5. I found out that not only do I have fertility probs – the man does to. So it’s going to be exceptionally hard to conceive. It looks like IVF could be the only way, so I have to lose weight to make sure I qualify.

6. I have a goal of losing 28lb by October.

7. Dom has bought an exercise bike – time to use it. Might even start harassing the brother-in-law to help me with some exercise plans and routines. Sort-of related, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, so I get a lot of chronic joint pain.

8. My third bedroom is now my office/library – moved all my bookcases into there and really had a big sort out. Love it. So much space!
9. The building inspector signed off the garage conversion – happy days!

10. My anxiety is under control. I’ve had a few attacks and downward spirals – but the propranolol is doing the job. It’s manageable.

That’s about it.

I’ll start updating properly soon. I have a few poignant thoughts running around my head and I’d like to bore you all with them…

#MondayMusings

Remember what’s important, never let go of your dreams, and trust in those you love.

(my husband and me. He keeps me sane. He’s my shoulder to cry on, my partner in prankster crime, my personal comedian, my best friend and my soulmate)

Officially Old

There was a time when I wouldn’t need to have a band’s name/misspelling pointed out to me.

Not any more.

I looked in the mirror and this is what I saw:

My Generation, Take a Look Around, cos I’m doing things My Way, and I’ll keep on Rollin‘.

A Few Things I’m Looking Forward To Watching (TV and Cinema) This Month…

I bought Empire magazine yesterday. Something I’ve not done since I was around 18 years old and thought I was ‘cool’ with my magazine half hanging out of my canvas backpack while I sauntered around in my Vans, wearning my skater trousers and Limp Bizkit tee shirt… Ah youth…

I digress.

I bought the magazine as I needed something to read and my iPad AND iPhone were dead (no ‘Apple Sucks’ jokes please!) and flicking through I saw the trailer for Hemlock Grove – another Netflix original tv show directed by Eli Roth.

I’m actually looking forward to this. There’s been an influx of supernatural tv shows recently that haven’t really cut the mustard (the new Beauty and the Beast anyone? Secret Circle?) and it’s time that something darker and clearly for an adult audience came to the little screens. With actors such as Famke Janssen and Dougray Scott, it has the talent – so let’s hope it has the content (I have read that there’s a weird vampire/tampon/oral sex scene that pushes the boundaries a little…)!

Hemlock Grove Trailer

Oz, The Great and Powerful. I’ll be dragging the husband to the cinema to see this. Fantasy, decadence, theatrics, twists and all things lovely. I’ve heard that Disney spent $200 million on this. Pause and consider. $200 million. Wow. I don’t think it’s going to be a box office smash, but we’ll see. I just hope it doesn’t flop like the poorly advertised ‘John Carter’ (that I actually thoroughly enjoyed).

Oz The Great and Powerful Trailer

Next comes Stoker. Empire magazine gives this 5 stars. Chris Tookey from the Daily Mail gives it 1 star. As Mr Turkey, sorry, Tookey, hated it. I’m sure I’ll love it.

Mia Wasikowska was great in Jane Eyre. Matthew Goode was one of the best things about Watchmen, and with Chan-Wook Park (writer of Oldboy) in control of a script by Wentworth Miller of Prison Break fame – what can go wrong? In my mind, very little. But clearly the reviewer from the highly intellectual and stimulating Daily Fail… a lot. We’ll see.

Stoker Trailer

And also out this month… Hansel and Gretel. I know. I know. It looks terrible. It looks cheesy and stupid. With guns, explosions, lots of leather and… who am I trying to kid? It looks all kinds of awesome. It’s unpretentious. It’s not trying to win awards. It’s a popcorn munching entertainment movie. I know that I can sit in the cinema for 2 1/2 hours, switch off and just enjoy Jeremy Renner on the screen. The film, I mean, enjoy the film on the screen…

Hansel and Gretel Trailer

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There’s a lot more out over the next few months. But, I think these are the movies/shows I want to pay attention to in March.

Broke vs Broke

I’ve wondered if I should write this blog post. Discussing finances has always been something of a taboo and considered ‘ill manners’ within certain circles, but, with the financial problems that we all seem to have suffered at the hands of the banking crisis- isn’t it time for some transparency? And possibly a little rant and moan?

Since 2006 I have struggled financially. After a rather… bad… break-up with my long term partner, I was left with a host of debts (90% not mine), a huge mortgage and a pittance of a wage.  Fast forward to 2013 and not much in that area has changed. Sure the debts have gone down, but the household cost of living has risen and I have less disposable income now than I did then.

I’m 30 now and happily married to an amazing man. I’m at an age when I’d like to think I can start saving a modest amount and think about moving forward and having a family, reducing hours at work and so on. However the curse of the past follows me and I’ve had a stream of bad luck that has kyboshed any chances of me quitting work in the forseeable future…

On top of the usual expenses, car repairs, windows, guttering, french doors, fencing, boilers, huge vet bills, and unexpected heating bills have plagued me. I think this month alone I’ve spent in excess of £3000 on unexpected outgoings. Yes, £3000. And this has left me broke.

And by broke, I mean broke.

I get rather annoyed at people who go ‘oh my God, I’m so broke, I’ve got no money’, and then in the next breath you see they’ve been clothes shopping, or to the cinema, or bought trinkets and trappings. When I’m broke, I don’t have the means to buy anything.

My bank account has £4.02 available to me right now, and my husband has even less – and that has to last another 4 days. My fridge has 6 pints of semi-skimmed milk, 3 Rolo desserts, cheddar cheese, pickle sauce, and a rather dubious looking pack of celery that appears to leaking some sort of goo.- I’m lucky my cupboards have dried pasta (about 10kg worth) and various pasta sauces, else I would be forced to survive on dodgy celery, sugary desserts and hard cheese.

(I forgot the rather large box of chocolates I got for my birthday. That would probably keep me going a few more days)

The week before my 30th (just a fortnight ago in fact, yes, I turned 30 on the 16th February), I had a few friends ask why I was stressed and couldn’t concentrate. Why? Why you ask? I’ve run out of money that’s why. I don’t use credit, and I have no means of magicking more. Of course I was going to be stressed.

The few days leading up to my rather amazing birthday party (all pre-paid if you wondered, it was paid for months ago), I was able to let go and forget about it all, and on the night itself, surrounded by friends that care, my little sister (who means the world to me), my inlaw family and my husband, I realised that none of it matters.

It doesn’t matter that I haven’t got any money. It doesn’t matter that I’m now 30 and so should be ‘grown up’ and have more money available to me. It doesn’t matter that sometimes I run out of money the day after payday; because, I’m rich.

If I have to explain what I mean – then you really don’t get it, and I feel sorry for you.

So, Broke, I raise my glass to you. You are a cruel trespasser: unwanted and unloved. You visit whenever you please and cause havoc, chaos and  misery wherever you go. But when you go and thoughtfully leave your lingering funk, you remind me of all the important things in life.

Thank you.

Me at my party.